It’s as i’m lay here writing this, head pounding and eyes watering that i’m starting to think it’s not so worth it any more.
The dreaded hangover, we’ve all felt it and it seems it very much likes to take the mick out of us – and ruin our lives. I don’t know about you but i’m fully un-functional whenever i’ve been attacked by the aforementioned monster and as the day goes on, its only getting worse.
It’s as i’m saying that, that it’s pretty obvious hangovers come in stages. So here’s a little run-down of mine:
Stage 1: You wake up and thank God and the high-heavens you feel okay. Of course this is only in the physical sense, cause you’ve checked your phone and realised hell; I actually did drunk-call the ex and made a fool out of myself at my favourite bar – fabulous (can never go there again).
Stage 2: You have a shower and wash away the seven deadly sins, brush your teeth
and then brush them again and you’re almost starting to feel human. The headache has subsided and you think damn, I might actually get through the day – high five to me.
Stage 3: SURPRRRRRRRRRISE- Satan has tapped you on the shoulder and hit you with a face full of hangover. Shouldn’t have ate that bacon, my legs don’t work and oh hell – my brain feels like it’s being spun like a basketball on the hangover demon’s finger.
Stage 4: I’m never drinking again, I don’t care – I’ll save money and go on a detox; all of course is said in vain although you feel like your life’s ending. You tried to have a nap but it’s 4pm and the blinds aren’t keeping the sun out – bored as hell cause watching netflix means noise and noise is a no-go. You’re close to the end and just remembered how much you spent last night
Stage 5: The nap worked, you’ve woke up and don’t know what month it is never mind what day and the in-sleep sweats were worse than ever. Hair’s in dissaray and your face is full of pillow creases – check your phone and oh shit – people assume you’ve died cause you passed out mid text-convo, please stop worrying
Stage 6: You’re starting to feel okay again – fair enough it’s pointless now because its 9pm and all you really have time to do is eat cereal – maybe go out again. Find yourself texting your mate, asking if she fancies drinks and promising you’ll be okay this time
Stage 7: You’ve stuffed yourself full of all the food you’ve missed today and before you know it you’ve ate 2 bowls of ricecrispies, 3 pieces of toast and a tangerine. You’re oka- no, here it all comes to show itself again and you’re sprinting to the loo
Stage 8: It’s 11pm and you’re in bed again, this time cold as hell and unable to sleep. You’ve let down your mate who was half a face of makeup into getting ready but mr hangover is punishing you enough. Swear to yourself it’ll never happen again, you’ll pace yourself next time and delete your snapchat app…
and then before you know it,
not the best feeling.